Sex Toys: How to Introduce them and Increase Intimacy

As a novice in the use of sex toys, welcome to the guide that will make you CONFIDENT and more DECISIVE on how to go about it. Our blog is a non-judgemental, cozy invitation for all beginners who want to explore new pleasure limits using sex toys with a partner. 

We’ll go over ways to introduce sex toys in your relationship and how to make sure that this sensitive topic goes down smoothly. 

First, let’s agree there’s no shame in using sex toys; curiosity is a way of showing how smart you are and how much you want to have GOOD sex. But What is good sex without toys? Well, as a beginner, you’re in the right place as we’ll recommend ways to introduce your partner to sex toys and how to ensure they drive maximum BLISS in your relationship. 

Tips to Introduce Sex Toys in Your Relationship to Boost Intimacy

Sex is a sensitive topic, and if your partner is the conservative type, the matter becomes more complex. Someone might be comformtable watching adult cam sites, but find it tough to talk about sexual matters openly. However, talking about sex or anything related to this pleasurable act should not be a daunting or intricate endeavor. 

If you’re in this position, worry not because we GOT YOU. We’ll share a few practice tips that can help you bring up the topic of sex toys and discuss it comfortably. You may feel awkward at the beginning of this important talk, but this post is about to make you a communication guru. 

Let’s get it on to find a way of surfacing the adult toys subject effectively. 

Consider the Right Time to Talk About Sex Toys

When you’re ready to introduce the sex toys topic to your partner, make sure they, too, are prepared. TIMING is everything. You can’t just whip them out during sex and expect them to be okay unless your partner appreciates surprises during sex or is comfortable trying new things. 

Throwing in a sex toy during sex is a huge mistake as it can leave them feeling ambushed, anxious, and pressured. As a result, your surprise move can lead to conflicts, insecurities, and, in severe cases, a disconnect. Instead, choose a time to bring up the topic. 

When talking about sexual preferences with your partner, bring up the topic of introducing toys. Explain effectively to ensure the topic doesn’t take them back, wondering if they’re insufficient. 

Talking about sexual preferences makes people vulnerable, and not everyone will feel comfortable, especially when asking for broach toys. If you aren’t sure how to introduce the topic, yet you want to boost intimacy, you can say you read it somewhere. Alternatively, you heard about it during a chat with a close friend and watch how it goes down. 

There’s no optimal time to discuss this topic and get results. In fact, you should be glad they agreed to listen no matter how long it takes to openly discuss it. 

If this is your first time talking about toys, you must be patient and expect anything. However, if the initial conversation is smooth, it could open a good foothold for more intimate dialogues.

Frame the Desire to Use Sex Toys as a Request, NOT Complaint or Demand

Presenting your sex toy idea to your partner without offending them can make them receptive. It would be devastating to make your partner feel insufficient because people are sensitive about their sexual performance. 

Thus, it would help if you framed the idea as an exciting thing to experience together, not a replacement for your partner. As you discuss the topic, reassure your partner that it’s all for fun, ensuring it doesn’t come forth as a complaint or criticism. Use the following formula: 

1. Start with the conversation positively
2. Inquire to ensure your partner is comfortable
3. Make a request that includes your partner

The statements should sound like this: 

1. Last night was fantastic…
2. Have you ever considered trying a sex toy? 
3. I’d love us to try using a vibrator during sex.

Don’t Criticize or Apologize for Wanting to Boost Intimacy

Your interest in toys shouldn’t be a reflection of your partner’s sexual prowess. Regardless of when you start the conversation, try not to criticize or relay your frustrations with your sex life. Criticism can expose any underlying insecurities your partner might hold. 

Sex toys are nothing to be ashamed of. Hence, you don’t need to be apologetic about your desires. Instead, bring the conversation from a place of exploration and present sex toys as one of the many things that stoke you and you would love to try them with your partner. 

Because you love your partner, you want them to have maximum pleasure during intimacy, and you should be open to trying new things together. Hence, it shouldn’t be such a burden to want more pleasure together. 

Share Your Feelings About Sex Toys and the Relationship

Besides communicating your desire to explore toys with your partner, you should also share your feelings openly. You can say something like: 

• I’m excited at the possibility of introducing adult toys into our lives
• The thought of sharing toys with you during intimacy makes it look fun to me

Share your emotions with your partner without holding back to ensure you know you are all in the same space. Communication is what keeps the fire in a relationship burning and both partners enjoying all pleasurable moments. 

Don’t Impose the Idea

Since you know your partner, judge whether they’re comfortable with the conversation, and don’t impose your adult topic on them. Don’t also issue ultimatums or insist on discussing the topic. Instead, be friendly and make them comfortable, and if they aren’t, leave the talk for another day without forcing anything. You can even begin by addressing their fears or stigmas before introducing your topic. 

Be Direct and Willing to Compromise  

Before talking to your partner about introducing sex toys in your relationship, take a moment to be clear on what you need. Be direct with your partner about what you want, then ask what they feel or think. A direct approach makes you assertive with the flexibility to compromise when you ask the other party about their thoughts and feelings. 

Be Candid on the Idea of Exploration

If your partner loves exploring new avenues in your relationship and is interested in trying out toys, don’t dictate what will happen. Instead, introduce the new topic and let them get comfortable by discussing what you enjoy during your intimate moments and how toys can spice it up. 

Encourage them to think outside the box of regular body stimulation by including toys in the game. Discuss how your ideas overlap and how you can align them to maximum pleasure. Getting to this point means the conversation is flowing one way, and you can discuss sex toys thoroughly. 

Suppose you have a partner who already uses toys alone, and it’s easy to introduce the other partner. You can bring it into the bed during intimacy and show the other party how they pleasure themselves alone. If your partner is interested, slowly show them how to use it on you physically and verbally. Then, you can shift gears to them. In the end, you can use the toy on each other. 

Go Shopping Together

Getting to this point means the sex toy chat went down smoothly, and you’re collaborating on the experience. It’s time to go shopping together and get whatever toys you want to explore. 

You can check out some toys online together to get a feel for what each of you is into and then decide what is best for you. If possible, you can compromise to accommodate each other and then decide to order online or visit a sex shop together. Shopping together will not only help you make the right choice, but it’s a bonding experience before the play goes down. 

FAQs

In Summary

Sex toys are a great addition to your relationship, especially where partners agree to use them.

If you’re new to adult toys, talk to your partner to ensure you agree if they suit you. While talking, ensure your partner is comfortable with the topic and the milestones you want to make in your relationship. 

The tips above will help you have a smooth conversation and get your partner to walk the talk with you for optimal pleasure. 

Many toys are on the market, and selecting the right one might be daunting. Don’t be in a rush; take your time to explore as many as possible and consult where possible to get something you’ll enjoy together. 

If you have more to add to this post, kindly leave a comment below. Also don’t forget to drop your email in the comment section for more interaction and personalized communication.

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